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“You can’t lie, you won’t lie, but you’re still keeping secrets!”

“What rule says I have to give everything to you? I’m not your property!”

“I never said you were.”

“You just implied that because I have some secrets—“

“This is a big deal Diana. Its not like you weren’t telling me about a surprise birthday party!”

“I didn’t want to tell anyone in case it didn’t happen!”

“So, what, you could tell your mom, but not me?”

“My mother’s helping pay for school David, she kind of has to know!”

“I thought we weren’t relying on parents for support anymore.”

“This isn’t support, this is education.”

“Well then I want to help pay for it too!”

“No.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t want to owe you my education.”

“Oh come on! That’s not even fair! What’s going to happen—“

“What if we break up David? What if I owe you four thousand dollars in student loans?”

“We’re in this Diana! We’re in this together, and if I—“

“I won’t let you pay for it.”

“You think we’re going to break up?”

“It’s a possibility.”

“When are you going to give up on what happened to your parents? Some people get divorced, some people don’t.”

“Well isn’t it good that if you don’t get married, you can’t get divorced!”

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Her parents get her tested. Over and over again they ask her if she doesn’t understand why people don’t always tell the truth, if maybe she’s just not picking up on the social cues necessary, if maybe she needs some sort of help with reading the room. But Diana wonders why they don’t try and figure out how its possible she always knows the truth. 

But trying to explain it never seems to work.

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Three days of arguing over why she said no, of tense silences and David leaving. So when he gets up from the table, Diana gets up to and grabs the front of his shirt and kisses him hard, demanding that he pay attention to her, that he recognize that she’s still Diana, that they can do this. He tenses at first and she shoves him backwards into the counter and presses hard into him, her body making a plea she can’t find the words for. 

But he pushes her off him, and goes into their room and Diana doesn’t know what to do, so she goes and sits on the sofa, and tries to remember how to breathe.

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11 and 7 months: When she met him
12: When they became best friends
13 and 5 months: Their first date, and kiss
14 and 1 month: I love you
15 and 6 months: First time they had sex
18 and 2 months: Figured out they were living together after high school
18 and 7 months: Move in together
21 and 2 months: Marry me
21 and 2 months: Broke up
23 and 4 months: Still can’t stop thinking about him 
25: Remember when?
26 and 5 months: I wish we could…
∞: miss you

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Diana laughs. “I really can’t sing.”

“Sure you can,” David said and Diana looks at him. She knows it’s not true, his statement causing a pain in her stomach, but she kisses him anyways. 

Later, he admits she can’t sing and she laughs at him, and tells him she told her so. But she likes that he tried to lie the first time.

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"Would you marry me?"

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"I was saying to my dad, I don’t know how to do taxes right—"

“I want to have sex.”

A pause. Diana looks up from her cereal from dinner and looks at David. “Right now?”

“Yes,” David says. 

“Was it the talk of taxes that got you—” David doesn’t let her finish the sentence. 

Diana doesn’t really mind.

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On nights when David has work and she doesn’t, Diana wraps herself in own of his sweatshirts and their comforter and sits in bed, eating take out and reading girly magazines. They’re the kind of magazines she’d hide under the bed so no one could see them when they come over. It’s all about what sex positions are best and how to dress to your color scheme, and Diana thinks it’s total trash. 

But she can’t stop reading it.

On nights when she works and he’s alone, she comes home to mysterious messes in the kitchen that look like he attempted to bake cakes, or to guitars with broken strings, and sometimes it looks like someone went through her magazines as well. She finds him spread eagle in the bed, taking up all the space. 

But she doesn’t mind, cause that means she can curl up next to him and nudge him awake so she can get some sleep.

On nights they both have off, they kiss before turning out the lights, and sometimes they spoon, and sometimes they don’t. 

But in the morning they wake up next to each other.

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Her nephew has a soft fuzz of hair. Diana can’t stop touching Zach’s head, delicately because apparently there’s a spot on his head where his skull hasn’t closed over his brain and she isn’t going to be the one who makes him stupid. But she can’t stop her fingers finding the top of his head and gently touching the fuzz. 

Audrey is exhausted and just wants to sleep, as does Zach, but Neil is so hyped up he can’t stop moving. Diana gets to hold Zach while her brother runs around the hospital in the dark room, gazing down at her nephew. He’s a little bit of Neil and a little bit of Audrey and his hair is just so soft. 

In those moments Diana thinks she can’t manage without kids, David is a hundred percent right. 

Later, when Neil is so sleep deprived he can’t get up from the couch and Audrey has dark rings around her eyes, Diana rethinks her position.

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"Forward, fast and violent," her father said. 

Diana adjusted her grip on Huxley’s reigns. He’s a new horse, and she’s training him with her dad. It’s hard work and Huxley wants to fight the reign and her. She can feel him tensed under her, far too powerful for some fourteen year old girl. She shifts, forcing him to turn and Huxley does it because any other direction hurts, but she knows the moment she lets go, he’s going to try and dump her. 

But Diana is a Morrill. She’s more stubborn than this horse. So when he comes up, she holds on with her legs trembling and she yells at Huxley. “Hux, it’s okay!” And then he’s down on the ground, and quivering, looking back at her with a confused look and Diana smiles. 

And that’s when Huxley became hers.